Left Behind (2014)

Jesus Christ.

So I watched the 2014 remake of Left Behind. It was not good. I know that Nick Cage just loves being in movies, Gary, but man oh man this movie. It was as if the screenwriter asked themselves, “If the world were faced with an impossible situation, what is the least likely way for them to respond?” And then they rolled camera.

At least I could laugh at the Kirk Cameron Left Behind from 2000. I can’t even laugh at this.

Definitely, Maybe

I wanted an accessible rom-com, so I streamed Definitely, Maybe on Netflix. Ryan Reynolds, Rachel Weisz, Isla Fisher, and Elizabeth Banks… what more could you ask for? I loved the framing device of a dad telling his daughter the story of his past loves. I didn’t need any more reasons to love every member of the main cast, but that’s exactly what I got. It was a true delight.

Did I tear up at the end? You bet your booty I did.

Into the Forest

I liked a lot about Into the Forest. It was understated, reflective, and relatively small; and yet, the issues it tackled were very big, very primal, very human. I thought the journey of the sisterhood between Page and Wood was beautiful, which only stands to reason, since they’re both such incredible talents. I’m glad the movie was so contained and constrained, because it really let their performances shine through.

Once again we see rape as a plot point gone minimally addressed. The scene of comforting after Page strains her back and Wood loses her shit with being unable to handle the aftermath of her assault was intimate and endearing, but Wood’s character’s decision to keep the baby threw me for a damn loop, and made the end of the movie seem completely out of the realm of possibility. I mean, having a baby in the crotch of a tree? I suppose the filmmaker wanted to emphasize the apocalyptic scenario and the whole, reverting to the ways of older societies out of necessity. It still felt icky.